Life and Career Skills

Everything you need to know

"A good manager is a man who isn't worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him. My advice: Don't worry about yourself. Take care of those who work for you and you'll float to greatness on their achievements"

-Anonymous

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Black and White Thinking

People who tend to see the world only in terms of extremes are more prone to severe depression, marital conflict, anxiety and host of other everyday problems. But when you learn to recognize the spectrum of gray in the difficult experiences you encounter in your life, you will be better equipped to come out on top.

"Always" and "never," polar opposite words, tend to characterize the vocabulary of black and white thinkers. Black and white thinking means seeing the world only in terms of extremes.

If things aren't "perfect," then they must be "horrible." If your child isn't "brilliant" then he must be "stupid." If you're not "fascinating" then you must be "boring."

Yikes! What a tough way to live! In real-life, situations are almost always shades of gray, not black or white. Falling victim to black and white thinking tends to exacerbate depression, marital conflict, anxiety, and a host of other everyday problems. Give yourself and the ones you love a break and discover the beauty of shades of gray

 

Guidelines for Reducing debt

Guidelines for Reducing Debt

Getting, and keeping, your debt in line with recommended budgeting guidelines, is an important step when reducing debt. Here are some recommended budgeting guidelines:   

  • Housing 35%: Mortgage or rent, taxes, repairs, improvements, insurance, and utilities.
  • Transportation 20%: Monthly payments, gas, oil, repairs, insurance, parking & public transportation.
  • Debt 15%: Credit cards, personal loans, student loans & other debt payments.
  • Other expenses 20%: Food, insurance, medical and dental bills, clothing & personal.
  • Investments & Savings 10%: Real Estate,Stocks, bonds, cash reserves, retirement

 

Worst Communication Blunders of 2009

1. Tiger Woods praised his wife Elin after his car crash Thanksgiving night: “My wife, Elin, acted courageously when she saw I was hurt and in trouble.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Assumes the public is gullible enough to believe anything a famous figure uses as a cover up to the quite obvious facts.

The lesson: Remember that Aristotle said our statements must be backed with logic before they will earn acceptance.

2. President Barack Obama told Jay Leno the President had bowled a mediocre score of 129 in the White House bowling alley. Obama’s lament: “It was like Special Olympics or something.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Sounded like the President was demeaning children with special needs.

The lesson: Avoid any reference to people with disabilities, because your attempt at humor is likely to offend someone.

3. South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford referred to his mistress as his “soul mate,” yet claimed he was “trying to fall back in love with my wife.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Even saying privately, much less publicly, that you are trying to love your wife again (though you will die knowing that you have met your soul mate) could prompt your wife to borrow a golf club from Tiger’s Elin.

The lesson: Wise communicators make clear choices, rather than diluting their commitments to satisfy everybody.

4. “Balloon boy” Falcon Heene explained on national television why he had not emerged when searchers called his name. Glancing at his parents, he answered: “You guys said we did this for the show.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Falcon’s honesty exposed the family’s hoax, designed to generate fame for a new reality show.

The lesson: As an old saying goes, make sure everyone on your team is “singing off the same page.”

5. At MTV’s Video Music Awards, Kanye West stormed the stage when Taylor Swift was accepting the Best Female Video Award. Seizing the mic, he shouted: “I’m sorry, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Kanye’s impulsive act detracted from Taylor’s high tribute, and embarrassed the unsuspecting Beyonce, looking on from the audience.

The lesson: Top-level communicators control their emotions, and express their differences at appropriate times, without demeaning others.

6. When the Swine Flu epidemic had fostered mass fear and even hysteria, Vice President Joe Biden announced: “I would tell members of my family—and I have—I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now,” because “when one person sneezes, it goes all the way through the aircraft.”

Why this blunder was so awful: Biden’s comments could have caused thousands of passengers to cancel their flight plans, and freeze interstate business activities for weeks.

The lesson: Leaders must reduce anxiety, not magnify it. You can speak candidly, yes, but without becoming an alarmist.

7. Israel Hyman, an Arizona man, announced to his 2,000 Twitter followers that he was going on vacation. En route, he updated his travel location regularly. Returning home, he learned that someone broke into his home and stole valuable video equipment.

Why this blunder was so awful: You’re quite inconsistent when you halt mail and newspaper delivery, but then post on the Internet when you are leaving and when you’ll get back.

The lesson:As Hyman concluded: “I forgot that there’s an inherent danger in putting yourself out there.”

8. An applicant for a job with Cisco tweeted that Cisco’s job offer was forcing him to weigh “a fat paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating my job.” Fortunately, he didn’t have to worry about his decision very long. A Cisco official read that tweet.

Why this blunder was so awful: The applicant assumed there was no likelihood anyone connected with Cisco would read his tweet.

The lesson: Years ago I heard the advice, “Never put on the Internet anything you wouldn’t display on a highway billboard.”

9. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton presented a symbolic button to Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov, thinking the Russian word on the mock button meant “reset.” Her hope was that Russia and the United States would reset the direction of their relationship. Right away, Lavrov explained that an accurate translation would be “overloaded” or “overcharged.”

Why this blunder was so awful: The gaffe reflected that Clinton and her staff had not researched the language nuance, with the result becoming an accidental affront.

The lesson: We will communicate clearly and persuasively with other cultures and nations only when we adapt successfully to their lingo, customs, and history.

Do you have any communication blunders that you want to share?. Perhaps some blunders at work or in your community.

 

Peace of Mind...everybody has a point of view

Ah! Everybody has a different perception about life, happiness and peace of mind. I suppose it depends on your frame of reference. Here is a lovely story that i found that makes the point about perspective very nicely. Let me know your thoughts.

A boat  docked  in a tiny Mexican village.

An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs

and those of his family...

The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings  I go into the village to see my friends , have a chat, catch up on what’s happening around, a sing a few songs ….I have a full life.”

 

The American interrupted:

“I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you. You should start fishing longer every day.

You can sell the extra fish you catch.

With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.

With the extra money the larger boat will bring , you can by a second one and third one so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.

Instead of selling your fish to a middleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plants.

You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City,

Los Angeles, or even us York City. !

From there  you can direct your huge enterprise.”

“How long would that take? “asked the Mexican.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years, “ replied the American.

“And after that  ?”

“Afterwards ?   That’s when it really gets interesting,” answered the American laughing.

“When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks  and make millions.!”

“Millions ?  Really ?  And after that? “

 

“After that you will be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta , and spend the evenings with your friends.”

 
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